Fearless Friday: If You Make Your Point Like This... Then You Have Told The World You Are Stupid.

One of the top stories in my feed this morning was this.  I saw the above photo shared a few times yesterday and apparently it's now been purported to have gone "viral".  (I take issue with the way that term is used so loosely now, BTW… but sufficed to say it went big enough to have caught the eye of the Huffington Post.) The article is about the sticker pictured in the photo and a few other racist bumper stickers beginning to circulate pre-election.

Here is the thing I am glad people don’t (apparently) realize about making this type of statement out loud:  Though you will undoubtedly be offending your intended audience...  you lose the battle and instead help to further your opposition’s cause.  Nice going! 

Before applying a racist bumper sticker to your car in hopes it will cause people not to vote for Obama, here are some questions to ask yourself: Why are you against wanting to re-elect President Obama?  Is it because you feel he has been ineffective?  Are you upset about having a democratic president?  Do you think he's unqualified to run the country?  Are you vehemently opposed to his policies?  Do you feel the state of the union is in peril because of the decisions he made while in office?  Good. Great.  Fantastic.  These are all quality reasons to take issue with a POTUS.  There are a great many people that would love for you to share your thoughts and will listen to the evidence you have that supports your opinion.  If you are concise and present enough facts, you may even sway enough people into joining your cause and successfully get someone else elected at the end of this year.  Long live democracy!

Unfortunately, though, if you hate President Obama predominantly because the man has a higher concentration of melanin in his skin cells than you do... then I am very sorry (for the rest of us) to report that you are stupid.  President Obama... as well as you and I... have a great deal of control over many things in life... but the chemistry and make up of our bodies is not one of them.  Frankly, if we had the science needed to change things like this, then I am sure preventing "stupid", or the lack of desire to seek knowledge and educate one's self, would be a lot higher on the list than being able to change cellular pigment levels.

Inferring that some one has any more or any less potential for achievement solely based on this uncontrollable physical trait not only discredits your argument, but it shows the world you possess a brain that is inferior.  Perhaps due to the same uncontrollable genetics... but more than likely because you choose to be stupid.  When intelligent people determine your intelligence is inferior, than any case you make, no matter how compelling, is discredited in their minds because you have demonstrated the absence of the fundamental ability to determine what is a reasonable, rational argument… and what is hateful, ignorant bullshit.  THUS... you will succeed in only FURTHERING that which you seek to change in the opposite direction of your intention because your position is now associated with "stupidity".

To put it plainer:  Racist bumper stickers ensure that your team LOSES.  You, and your fellow racists, are essentially traitors to your own cause.

There is an art to debate and to getting people to consider your point.  The most important part is purpose.  The second most important part is method.  What do you hope to achieve when you argue your position?  Are you hoping to change someone's mind?  Are you hoping to further awareness?  Are you hoping to convince people to agree with you in what you feel is right?  Do you seek to expand your position by collecting points from the opposition?  Are you curious as to how someone could feel differently than you do?  Or do you just enjoy the attention and validation of being listened to?  There must be a purpose.  Otherwise, what is the point of even discussing anything?

Then depending on what your purpose is, your goal will not be accomplished on a significant level unless the method you use to convey your positions is credible.  Trying to discredit President Obama by pointing out he is (obviously) black may gain you some chuckles and back slaps from those close to you who share your views, but on a much broader level, the backlash against people like you grows larger and stronger.  Congratulations, Stupid!  All of the sudden people who weren't interested yesterday in getting involved have become offended.  When someone is offended, they tend to react.  In fact, if you piss someone off enough, you are much more likely to get them to react… than you would be at getting the people who adamantly agreed with you to do so.

Case in point:  The Susan G. Komen/Planned Parenthood controversy. In trying to further their anti-choice agenda by pulling funding from Planned Parenthood for (very obviously) fabricated reasons, Nancy Brinker and Karen Handle only succeeded in FURTHERING their opposition by awakening  a large group of people who were otherwise not particularly against them.  Only a small percentage of people will now fund or support the charity, even given their reversal in policy.  The Susan G. Komen Foundation has LOST CREDIBILITY.  They will never again reach an audience on the same levels they previously had, thus anything they choose to promote or oppose will be disregarded and dismissed as unimportant.  They have lost the war for their team by wielding the weapon of ignorance.

So really… carry on, stupid people!  Carry on. 

Fearless Friday: Tolerance, Seperation of Church & State, Organized Religion: One of these things is NOT like the other...

Did you know that there is a woman named Sharron Angle who is running for a U.S. Senate seat in the state of Nevada? Perhaps. (I know you're reading your FaceBook page, not really listening to me.) Did you also know that she fancies herself a "tea party conservative"? Hmmm... really? (And thinking, "Stop talking. So I can read. See how that goes together?") And did you also know that she went on a nationally syndicated radio program (hosted by a conservative) and told the host that she did not support abortion even in the instance of rape and incest? No matter how old the girl is. (WHAT??!?) She said that in the case of a young girl being raped and becoming pregnant the girl should, "make lemonade out of lemons." (Thank you for your attention :) She also said that "It's God's will that the girl be raped." and "It’s easy to use rare situations such as the tragedies of rape and incest to skew the debate about the value of human life." Wow. Rare situations. Interesting.

How do you feel about those "Muslims"? Do they make you mad? Flashes of the 9/11 travesty play through your head, right? You see them every once in awhile walking around with their heads covered. The women don't meet your gaze. Sometimes you see a Mosque and it makes your skin crawl to think about all that kneeling and facing East. Let me ask you something, though. Do you know what a "Muslim" is? Do you know what they actually believe in? (No.. really... do you KNOW? Because you researched it yourself?) Good. In that case you know that "Muslim" is not a race of people; it's the name for the followers of the Islamic religion. Which makes you smarter than probably 60% of the rest of America. Do you also know how Al Qaeda relates to Islam?

A long, long time ago there was this guy who was sick and tired of watching people "buy" their redemption and so-called ticket to Heaven from the Catholic church. So on 10/31/1597 he nailed his theses proclaiming that "Salvation was a gift from God and that everyone was entitled to it", to the door of the All Saints' Church in Wittenberg, Germany. Back in that day they called him a radical, and then tried AND convicted him of heresy for his split from the Catholic way of thinking. You know what we call his followers? Lutherans. And MAN... are those some radical people. By the way can you tell a Lutheran from all the rest of the Christians we have? Or are you like me and you just kind of lump all of those kind of Christian religions together? Lutheran, Episcopalian, Methodist, Baptist, Pentecostal, Non-Denominational.... whatever. Of course Catholics stick out. So do Mormons. But otherwise... they're all just "Christians".

Oh... did that offend you? Perhaps you have some sort of argument or difference you'd like to impart upon me? Good. No really. Good.

Because here is the thing: I am so very, very, VERY excited for you that you can spend any day of the week you choose, devoted to any religion of your choosing. In any amount of time you wish. In any form of prayer you desire. Believing in anything it is you want. Praying for whoever you think needs it. Giving any amount of money you see fit. Providing selfless acts of service to those who request your help, in the name of whatever Deity you wish to give the credit to. And sharing your beliefs with anyone who wants to sit and listen to you share your testimony. I say this with not an ounce of sarcasm, and with complete and utter sincerity. GOD BLESS AMERICA.

Because I am also eXtremely excited to impart that same right among the Muslims of this country. Who would say "ALLAH BLESS AMERICA." It SICKENS me to watch political and personal rhetoric that preaches against allowing non-Christian Judea faiths of this country build places of worship. It OFFENDS me to hear people who fancy themselves AMERICANS speak out against allowing "weird" or "different" people practice what they believe in, as long as it follows the laws of not infringing on the rights of others. I know that Al Qaeda came here, played us for fools and dealt us a low, horrible blow. Al Qaeda is NOT a recognized Islamic branch among the Muslims. They are essentially what David Koresh and the Branch Davidian was to the rest of the organized Christian world. EXTREMISTS. Please tell me that it isn't right for me to look at you as a Christian and hate you because David Koresh brain washed and abused hundreds of people. Please.

Going back, though, to my original news story about Ms. Angle, who feels it right to interject her Christian views into my legislator: Could you imagine if instead of Ms. Angle, you were hearing Mr. Muhammad Jinnah tell you what he thought was morally right and how that should influence the laws that govern the two of us? Ohhhhhhhh... did you just bristle a bit? :) Muslim influence over our law making? I saw your facial expressions change. Beth Howard... she pays attention to the body language. (wink, wink). It's NOT COOL, right? Good. I am glad we agree.

STOP.SUPPORTING.CANDIDATES.WHO.INSERT.THEIR.
PERSONAL.RELIGIOUS.VIEWS.INTO.THE.GOVERNMENT.
OF.AMERICA.

We are constitutionally obligated to remain judicially separated from our churches when it comes to our state and national legislature. And THANK GOD. Thank GOD for that. Or... thank the dead, Founding Fathers if you so choose. If you're a Christian... I am sure you can recognize that it would have been nice for old Martin Luther to be able to preach what he wanted to preach; write what he wanted to write; share what he wanted to share with no interference from the government at the time, right? And I am hoping you realize that the "government" was the Catholic Church. If you feel that way, you should also feel that it is important for all other faiths to be free to worship in their own manner of choosing, so long as they don't infringe upon anyone else's rights.

Above all else, though, you should be happy to have laws that don't include either religious view in our governing.

Fearless Friday: Feminism

I bet you think you know where I stand on this one, don't you? :)

No. No... you don't. <---- That, perhaps, will entice you to read this post. Just think of it as a little Kim Kardashian salad ad, if not. Come on... you know you want to try that damn salad. :)

This morning my husband and I went over our budget, and he was the Alpha and I was the Beta. This is a bit new for us. I have always been the Alpha. I am not too proud to say that in the past 4 months he's been gone... I have not excelled at "budgeting". There were a lot of those "Right Turn Only" signs that I just decided were warnings and not laws. Metaphorically. I confessed my affairs with Target and Kohl's to him, head hung down in shame, and then after a few stern glaces and some not so happy words, he got over it. Mostly because he loves me and is a wonderful man. But also, probably because I added "Why don't you take over the budget? Give me an allowance. I think that will work out a lot better."

The minute these words left my lips, I cringed inside. I felt like I wanted to jump outside of myself and bitch slap me. "WHAT are you thinking? Give you AN ALLOWANCE? What is this... the 50's? What if you NEED to do something and he doesn't give you permission? Or worse... what if there is a sale... like the SALE of a century... and he says, "NO."???" Oy. OY. OY!!!! I could feel it slipping... the Control. I do NOT deal with that well. I had to just maintain so as to keep from hyperventilating. (Did YOU just SAY THAT? Out LOUD? Stupid, stupid girl.) I probably poured myself a drink... or 5. And then moved on from the door I just closed on my foot.

Still, this morning has left me all warm and fuzzy despite the broken metatarsals and phalanges. Let's tread into this a bit, shall we? Maybe we'll come out on the other side with the same feelings.

I want to tell you a story, but I am going to purposely leave out some details. You will have to just get over that part, OK? Thank you. I appreciate it. When I was about 11 years old I witnessed something that would shape my life like few other events ever have. I witnessed a husband go into his kitchen and attempt to get into a drawer where his wife stored her utensils for cooking. She was an amazing cook, as well as an amazing mother, so she made her children empty the dishawasher and put these "tools" away. This way, her children would learn responsibility. However, these children were like any other children when it came to their chores. They often stuffed things into the wrong place for the sake of time, and tried to short cut organization so that they could go out and be young and play.

On this particular day, apparently, the husband (whom you most certainly may classify as "selfish" and a bit "misogynistic"... go forth. With my blessings.) had, had enough of these unruly children. He also had, had enough of his wife allowing them to be lazy, normal children. He pulled, and pulled and pulled on the drawer until the face plate came apart and the utensils spilled all over the floor. Then in a rage, he gathered up the hundreds and hundreds of dollars, and years and years worth of collecting that the wife had invested in her "tools"... and he went out to the garage, grabbed a trash can... and threw them in. The wife, who had been in the back of the house, heard the commotion and she came rushing to see what was a matter. When she saw what he was doing, she began to sob, "Please. PLEASE. PLEASE STOP. Don't throw away my things... my tools. Please don't do this." And then she got onto her knees.

And as I watched this from a corner of the room... I can tell you that a fire began to burn inside of me. Had I not been a scrawny, scared, 11 year old girl, I would have taken a trash can... gone into the garage... and began to throw his "tools"... his wrenches, his screwdrivers, his nut drivers, his power tools... EVERYTHING... into a trash can. And had I been a full grown adult man on top of it, I would have hit him in the face and knocked that motherfucker OUT. I don't think I have words to describe to you what it felt like to watch that. I will say, for the sake of the story, that her sobbing eventually softened him... and he shoved the trash can at her and walked away. Leaving her to dig her things out, and rewash them, and put them away.

My feelings about equality run DEEP. I once got into a fight with my ex husband because he threw my outdated TV guide away before I was done with the crossword puzzle in the back. He didn't ASK me if I needed it. I shit you not. Not proud of it... but it is what it is.

So let's take a breath. I took you to a dark place. Let's take another breath. Back to Bill.

This morning he called and wanted to know what the bills for this up coming month were. I informed him of all that needed to be paid. He then proceeded to take a stern tone while he calculated in his head what needed to be done, and then rationed out the remaining. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. And do you remember in Avatar when Neytiri stood over a wounded Jake Sully and hissed like a mountain lion? That was me this morning over my control. IMMEDIATELY... I was on the defensive. "Breeeeeeeath." I remembered that I brought this on myself through my irresponsibility... and I calmed down. I just listened.

His plan made sense. He is the logical one after all... and I am the emotional one who will spend in a fit of depression to feel better. There ends up being nothing in this whole equation that is anti-feminist. ??? WHA-WHAT? But I am NOT the BOSS. (?) I have NO argument to shift the control back(?) And even worse... I am letting HIM boss ME around (?) How can this be? Are you for REALZ on this, Beth Howard?

Yes. Yes, I am. For you see, I have decided that when you find the right man... you need not worry so much anymore about exerting your feminist defense. Good for you for having that hard core, platinum shield of "I am WOMAN! Treat me RIGHT!" up at all times. You need it. Until you find HIM. When you find him, you'll also find that he doesn't mind so much the shield... as he does the fact that you're not listening to him tell you that he WANTS you to make decisions. That he LIKES the ones you make. As long as they go along with the plan you BOTH have created.

And isn't/wouldn't it be the most intensely gratifying thing to know that he is standing up to YOU so that YOU choose to follow the path your feminism laid out in the first place? I can assure you... it is.

Fearless Friday: Gay Marriage

I've noticed that a lot of bloggers do something called "Wordless Wednesday". So I've decided to make up my own alliterative clever... and do "Fearless Friday". Instead of whining or patting myself on the back about my life, this will be my day to choose something controversial to ramble on about. Mostly just to amuse myself... but also to release some aggression.

So here goes, right? :) Today's topic: "Gay-ness."... "Lesbian-ism" and even..."Homosexuality". As well as their right to shack up together after preforming a ceremony uniting them in the eyes of the law as two people who have entered into a business arrangement to file taxes together and be financially responsible for one another. You know... romance.

Why in the Heavens would I choose this one right off the bat?!?!? I mean... the gulf is gushing oil... the state of Texas has lost it's damn mind... and everyone is about to kill each other over whether or not we're turning communist. (Or is it socialist? Or marxist? And what do those all REALLY mean anyway... hmmm... :)

Well... here it is. My "opinionist-ism".

Number one thing on my list of grievances: Does the "Religious Right" realize that in nature... species go homosexual when there are too many males and not enough females? This is a scientifically proven fact. This "against nature" (not to mention, their very own Creator's great plan) homosexuality in animals who want to get laid... but lack the resources. I'm wondering about that particular Bible passage where God smite the homosexual animals of Sodom and Gomorrah. Perhaps one will find it in "Songs of Solomon" where it's cool for grown men to have sex with little girls and relatives? Let me know.

Punto número dos: "Sanctity of Marriage". When I consider what is sacred within marriage, I think that it is pretty much outlined by our rights within the constitution as free individuals and between two consenting adults. In other words, what Bill and I find sacred between us is really none of anyone's damn business, as long as we're both in agreement. What does happen to be the most "sacred" within the confines of our agreement with the State of California and the Federal Government to report our income as one unit? A sense of humor. Which I doubt very much is unique to a heterosexual relationship... or in The Bible.

What I do realize, however, is that it IS really, really universally important when children are involved... that people hold their responsibility as parents sacred after creating them. For this... I actually applaud a few of the "Christian" based religions on their ways for ensuring that when two of their committed people create another life... they stay together. Fear of "Damnation" to be sure that a kid has at least two people to go to with problems... I'm for it, if that's what it takes. I'm not at all down on single parents or people who leave abusive/totally dysfunctional relationships. One needs to do in this life the best they can with what they got. Plenty of very good and well adjusted people come from single parent families. Statistically speaking, however, children with two parents are overall more well adjusted.

And let us talk statistics for a moment-o... shall we? The current heterosexual divorce rate is over 50%. Does anyone want to venture the guess for just the "split up" ratio of a couple that is gay or lesbian ... and adopts? :) Less than 15%. Probably due to the effort involved for a committed pair of same sex people... who obviously cannot just have sex and "accidentally" conceive another human to raise... but instead have to go through a myriad of paper work... and visits... and testimony by others... (which is all normal)... but then... scrutiny of others who fear they want to abuse/molest/enslave these children. So let me ask you something, if I may: Given the amount of effort it takes to adopt a child if you are gay or lesbian... can we all just agree there probably is no "Damnation"? In conjunction with the amount of heterosexual couples who do, in fact, make children they adopt all about abuse? Can we just agree that the selfless act of individuals raising a child who screams "I hate you!!!" when you give them Honey Nut Cheerios instead of Coco Pops... and then can still find it in their hearts to celebrate every accomplishment and wipe every tear... deserves your support?? Seriously. There should be "Sainthood" given for it. That completely normal... and completely defiant child DID NOT COME FROM THEIR WOMB. (Or... you know... Testes.) Most of the time, there was no "baby bonding period." God called... He agrees with me and decided many years ago (when He created us the way we are) that there is a special place for all who adopt. And they all get the same tax breaks in Heaven for it. Sorry to disappoint.

Further more, on the point of "sanctity"... what exactly is to be preserved? I cannot for the life of me see what it is that is better or holier or superior in regards to your every day man and woman "marriage" vs. your lesbian neighbors and their "relationship". Speaking from experience... which is really all we have right?... I married young. It didn't work. We split up and I found a new, happier life. We had no children, which I (personally) feel is the one reason you should always think twice when you're unhappy. You're children deserve for you two to try your utmost to make it work, at the very LEAST. In my case, though... we were young and inexperienced and free. So we left each other and attempted again in life to find what would make us happy. Why is the divorce that I filed for not any big thing and pretty much just accepted as the way it is now days... but when it comes to granting Gay and Lesbians the right to join forces... well, shit. We can't do that. They'll be marrying each other left and right and then filing for divorce in no time. It will be a free for all... these "gays" running out... getting married... divorcing. Mass hysteria. Cats and dogs, living together...

So seriously... what are we "preserving" with all our argument of "sanctity"? Good luck on that answer, my friend. Because you know what it is we're actually preserving? Our inclination as human beings to look down on others and discriminate. That's all it is. When you were little, you did that. You choose your elementary school friends based on who you felt comfortable with. You played together on the playground and traded lunch and other various treasures with them. You sat next to them. And the weird kids who either smelled funny, looked funny or acted different from you... you stayed away from. If your personality is to lash out at the different... you bullied them. If you're a non-confrontational... you either ignored them or you faked kindness when necessary, and hurried back to your group. Whatever your style... you choose your friends, hung with them and could only wonder what it is that others did when they were together hanging out.

Know what they were doing? Playing together and trading lunches and other various treasures, same as you. Probably just different games, food and stuff is all. And that is ALL this really boils down to. We elitist "heterosexuals" with our finger on the pulse of what it is that makes a marriage work... with our 50%+ divorce "grading curve", of course... we don't know what those "gays" do when they're all "married"... and shit. We know they're having all that "gay sex"... (which of course upsets the majority of us because of our own occasional (or constant) same sex attractions)... but other than the insanely wild gay sexfest we can't stop thinking about, we're at a loss. What are they doing??!? What are they doing over there, in that extremely stylish condo, being all "married"?

We'll... since I know a lot of "the gays" personally... I'll tell you. I'll TOTALLY let you in... and perhaps I'll win some kind of peacekeeping award, because I promise you'll feel better. Come close.

Know what they're doing over there? Making breakfast. Using the restroom. Complaining back and forth to one another about the little annoying habits that they both have. Discussing family/friend/co-worker/acquaintance gossip. Hurting when one says something unkind to the other one. Worrying about their jobs/bills/mortgages/kids/sick parents. Flipping through 500+ channels and being irritated that nothing is on. Lying awake in the bedroom wondering why their spouse is out watching TV instead of coming to bed. Dreaming about accomplishing goals. BBQing and drinking Corona with lime on a hot day. I know this all may sound a little "foreign". Hard to imagine, even.

I will tell you one thing, though. Their condo is sure to be a LOT swankier than yours. So I actually propose that instead of publicly making an ass out of yourself... not to mention looking completely ignorant and hateful... you instead take a baby step today and make gay and lesbians your "frenemies". Let's go ahead and get over our discrimination and wanting for un-equality, circa pre-1954. Let's instead do what any good hearted, yet jealous, person would do... and allow an even playing field. It makes sitting around and gossiping much, much more fun. :)